Oldie but Goodie

About a month ago we had a wedding party in from the Middle East staying for about 5 nights. I won't go into all the hell they put us through the whole time they were there, oh, and it was HELL... They lost their keys every time they left they're rooms but got mad when we wouldn't give them keys to other people's rooms that their names weren't on...but I digress... but upon check out a 70+ year old 4 foot nothing Middle Eastern lady comes to the front desk to have her stay completely comped (given to them for free). I guess we weren't fast enough, so she started swinging her big purse/bag thing over her head like a helicopter and released it across the front desk at the other customer service person working, then ran around the front desk screaming and trying to get into the back offices.  One of the younger relatives had to come running behind the desk after her and put her in a bear hug to stop her...  Oh, yah, and half of them were at a considerably low rate because they were family of an employee of a sister property...  Ummmm, yah. WTF.

April 30th 

So I have to go down the hall to tell about eight 10-12 year olds to shut the F*&$ up because the parents left them to go out to dinner and didn't allow them to have keys to they're respective rooms nor did they tell us they were leaving they're children unattended, (yes, had to babysit, which is NOT in our job description) and as I round the corner I hear one of them say, "I wonder if there's enough room in there for a foursome?" They go and congregate over in the lobby area and I over hear one of the children laughing and say, "OMG, he's trying to rape me!(giggle giggle)".  Um, WHATTT?  By the way, this company is a very well regarded company, not some motel chain that these descriptions are making it look like by these customers' actions.  I can't IMAGINE what the crappy motel employees have to deal with.

June 3 

Back to work after being out sick for 5 days. First up, lady checking in with husband, after the schpeel about all the amenities I get an abrupt,  frantic and loud, 'Um... do u have ICE HERE ???'. As she looks around the lobby like a frazzled pregnant woman looking for ice chips or something. No we have an indoor pool but this company couldn't afford to spring for f%#*ing ice machines after we installed that, sorry... 
Are u KIDDING ME???

June 20

Man:"I've seemed to have locked my keys in my room. May I get another one?"
Me:"Off course sir!  :D  What was the last name?"
Man:"(Last name)"
Me: "Great, thank you! Do you happen to have an ID on you just to be certain?"
Man: "Sure, no problem." (shows ID)
Me: Click click, swipe beep beep, hand the key.
Man: "Ummm..... this one's a different color than my other ones."
Me: "I'm sorry, what?"
Man: "This key, it's a different color."
Me: "Oh ok."
Man:(stares at me)
Me: I stare quizzically.
Man: (Stares at the card then at me)
Me: "Ummmmm, did you want another one, sir"
Man: (Staring at and flipping key card) "Uh, welllll, it's just that this one isn't the same color as the other ones."
Me: "I would be happy to get you another color."
Man: "Um...uh...... (pause.......stares at the card......flips it over)
Me:  ............
Man: "That's ok. It's just that the other ones I had were different, but.....this...... this... will be ok."