The Business Center: The Saga Continues.......

Everyone has heard of wireless internet, WiFi, hotspots, blah blah and understandably sometimes you have to ask how to connect to whatever wifi that is being provided.  So thank God I didn't get this call and my coworker did...

CO: Hello, and thank you for calling guest services. How may I assist you today?
Guest: Yes, you say you have free internet access, right?
CO: Yes we do!
Guest: Ok, how do I connect to it?
CO: Sure! You want to make sure your device has its wireless capabilities activated.
Guest: Ok..
CO: Then you will see (Brand) Wireless Services automatically pop up.
Guest: uh...ok.
CO: Then you want to agree to the terms and services by clicking ok and entering in XXXXXXXX as the passcode.
Guest: Uh huh...
CO: Then whatever browser you use, click on that and you should be all set!
Guest: Oh, ok. But, how do I connect to it if I don't have a computer?
CO: Ummm, I'm sorry?
Guest: I don't have a computer. Do you have a computer we can use?
CO: Oh, um, yes, do you mean our business center? We do have a computer you can use in our business center.
Guest: So is there a printer?
CO: Ummmm, yes, there IS a printer, sir.
Guest: And we can print from there?
CO: Yes you can!
Guest: Oh, ok great, so how do I go about using that and printing.
CO: Well, you have to come downstairs to the main lobby and go over to our business center, sir.
Guest: Oh, come downstairs. And that's where I can connect to your free internet?
CO: Yes, sir.
Guest: Oh, ok then, thanks.
CO: Ok, sir, no problem! You're welcome!

NO YOU FU%$&NG CHODE, some robotic device comes and swoops you into it, cradling you like a tiny delicate newborn and brings you up in the air above the trees and into the blue skies where you physically become one with this thing called the in ter net. Then 3 singing angels in gowns SOOOO white, they seem to be glowing, handwrite the answers in 24k gold on flowing silk sheets of paper what EVER it is that you querie.  Then when you are through with your journey throughout the in ter net, you are softly brought back to your room through your open window and gently laid into your bed while 4 DIFFERENT angels lightly fan you and sing you to sleep.

Dumbass.

(PS this was no bull shit either, the mid forty year old couple came down and CO had to go over to the computer and as they sat there, had to lean over them typing and pointing and showing them like he/she was teaching some internet 101 class for 4th graders.)