Ok, I just want to warn you that I am going to be using some explicit words, and if you are against that then I advise you to stop reading NOW.
It’s shit like this that makes me realize why customer services suck now where ever you go. Now when I get a rude customer service rep on a phone or in person, in a restaurant or on a plane, or ANYwhere, I can now see through their angst and know that they have just been beaten to a pulp by fucking ignorant customers/consumers and they are just done with it. As am I.
Maybe you have heard of hotels having rewards programs that earn you points, or tokens, or miles. There’s the Diamond VIP by Hilton, or the Platinum member by Marriott, or the Gold Crown Club member of Best Western, or Choice Hotels’ Diamond Level, or the Hyatt Gold Passport… So here’s my story...and away we go:
I get a guest check in and as I am checking him in he mentions to another person checking in at the same time that he has just stayed in same brand as ours hotel 3 times in the last few weeks, so I nicely ask if he has a [brand] Reward/Club number so he can get credit for this stay too.
He says he does not. So, I ask, would you like to join? I didn’t have to ask him. I didn’t have to do shit but check his fucking dumb ignorant ass in. But I thought, this would be nice so he can earn points/tokens/miles/rewards.
He tells me he would like to. So I get more than the usual amount of information and sign him up and give him a stupid little temporary thing with his rewards/club account info on it as well as a pamphlet showing him how it works and what he can earn and how.
He asks me, Will I get [points/tokens/miles/rewards] for the recent previous stays at the other [brand name] he had just stayed? I say Yes! And I politely and happily show him on the brochure I had just overviewed with him the number he can call and they would be happy to add those stays to his club/rewards history. He thanks me and goes on his way.
Less than a week later, corporate office sends us an ‘atta-boy’ email showing us an email he sent to them saying that the day shift employee went above and faxed in a request to have his most recent stays added to his club/reward history, and didn't just ‘point to a pamphlet and tell me to call an 800 number’.
Are you FUCKING kidding ME??? You are 1. going to passive aggressively complain that I didn’t do it for you and 2. LIE and say I just POINTED to a pamphlet and said call them. You FUCKING ASSHOLE, you wouldn’t have even KNOWN about the program if I hadn’t fucking told you!!! Plus even if I had stopped EVERYTHING and faxed 147 different pages to the Club/Rewards office, they wouldn’t have been there to fucking receive it at 10:30 at NIGHT. You have been a Club/Rewards member for a whole goddamn NINE hours and ALREADY are harping to corporate? Harping about shit that didn’t even happen the way you made it seem. I can’t fucking WAIT to see what a buttfuck asshead you are when you reach any of the levels that actually get you things.
This is my analogy to make myself happy and to explain it in a different light:
You walk in to the hotel. I randomly hear you say to the person with you that you have stayed with [brand] hotels frequently and that you don’t have a car to get around. So I say, Hey! Let me sign you up! Oh, and you don’t have a car??? Let me give you this brand knew [Fancy Brand New Car Make/Model] for you too!!! It’s low on gas, but here are directions to the nearest gas station! You thank me and go on your way.
Then the next morning you annoy the fucking shit out of someone else, because you are a helpless fucking assface fuck and say, Do you know where the nearest gas station is? And the day person goes, Oh, let me drop everything I'm doing and go gas that up for you!!!
Then you write the corporate offices and tell them that the day shift employee went above and beyond because she gassed your car up and she didn’t just point out the window to some gas station.
HEY FUCKTARD, you wouldn’t even HAVE the car if I hadn’t TOLD YOU!!!
So, this is why customer service sucks now…..especially now WHEN YOU DEAL WITH ME.
P.S. – to those of you that are these dickmunch losers that I chronicle, everything, both bad or good, you send or mail or fax or email to the corporate offices, they send us ALL the information about who you are and when you stayed. Yes, even the bullshit ‘anonymous’ surveys you fill out where you pour your pitiful fucking hearts out that breakfast didn’t have this or the pool was too that or turn down service was six minutes late…and it’s usually the dumb ghetto fucks that get the free email voucher or the special low rate that is about $100 less than anyone else in the place is paying, they send us ALL the information about who you are and when you stayed.
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