The check's in the mail. No, really, it is.

Nicely dressed man and a woman in business attire, in their 40’s, walk into the lobby, they walk around the lobby, they look around, go into the lounge area, look around for a minute, the lady sits down in a low chair just out of eye sight around the wall, all I can see are her crossed legs and the man walks up to the front desk.

Me: Hi there, checking in?

Man: Um, yes, do you have any rooms?

Me: Yes we do!

Man: Do I need an ID to check in?

 

Me: Yes, you do, do you have a reservation?

Man: Um, no, do I need an ID to book a room?

Me: Uh, yes, you would need an ID, sir.

Man: Oh, ‘cuz it’s in my truck.

Me: Ok. (Oh, boy, here we go!)

Man: .…oh, ok, I’ll be right back.

Lady is still in the lounge area, can only see her bouncing her crossed leg as she waits…

Man comes back in with his driver’s license. This is alllll too familiar, so I look at his left hand, no ring..yeah right, I don’t buy it.

Me: Ok, thank you, and the method of payment you would like to use?

(Let me take a WILD stab that he’s going to say cash.)

Man: Cash.

(I knew it)

Me: Ok, with cash transactions we take an extra $XXX in incidental fees that you get back upon check out.

Man: Oh, well, we’re only going to be here for a couple of hours. Probably check out at midnight.

(No shit, really?  Wouldn’t have guessed.  Can’t believe he admitted to that though)

Me: Ok, sir, if you would like to use a credit card we don’t have to take the extra incidental fee. 

Man: Oh, um, no, that’s okay, cash is fine.

(I figured)

Me: Ok the total with incidentals comes to $XXX.

Hands me a stack of crisp one hundred dollar bills.  Seems like he’s not new to this.

About 9:30pm we have a busy lobby with people checking in and bustling about the lounge and I see the ‘couple’ leaving.  They seemed to be walking a little bit taller and have a little skip in their step and smiles on their faces… but it’s not midnight and he didn’t come by the front desk to pick up his deposit, so maybe they are coming back later for round two? And really it’s not my duty to remind you that after you screw someone that’s not your wife to come pick up your $XXX.

I later get off of work and go home.  The next day I see him come in early evening, expensive gym type attire and, who’d of guessed, a shiny gold wedding band on. I know then, that he never came by the front desk to pick up his deposit or officially checked out.  I gesture for the other front desk person to take care of him so he didn’t try to argue with me.

He states to my coworker that he had forgotten to pick up his deposit, and would like to now pick it up.

BUT HERE’S the CATCH.  If someone that paid cash doesn’t pick up the deposit by 2pm, a check is cut and mailed to the address on file! ! ! ! !  

R O T F L M F A O!!! 

My coworker explains that to him and just at that moment you could see his gaze instantly go off over to Holy Shitsville. (not sure where that is exactly, but I’m starting to realize it must be nearby.)

Let’s say that the little skip in his step from the night before was gone when he left this time, and I would guess that he’s going to be the one checking the mail at home for the next couple of days.